Lucas Michael Roberts

Feb. 10, 2010:
Today was a decent day. I had a philosophy exam in the morning which I think I did ... well, I passed. I stumbled on only one question. Actually, this is MY blog, I think that maybe I only did okay, but I did pass.
Also, lets see. I want to be more honest. Like, it is crazy. Sometimes, even today, I am writing something that is more readable than emotional. I don't know. I will try to write more of my simple feelings. Tell me what you think.

I am working on composing a medley of old songs with my brother. I am not totally sure what the project is for. I think it is for one of his History classes. Any ways, he is going to come here on his reading week and we will record a bunch. He plays trumpet, so we wrote out all the sheet music; he will play trumpet and arrange it, I will record it and play the instruments other than that. Any ways, it is going to be hard to plan it all out - like, really hard. Even tonight, we were kind of fighting over key and chord structures...

Recently my back has been in some sort of a spasm. While I was in the tub yesterday, I was trying to think my way out of pain ... it didn't work. I am going to go to the hospital soon and talk to a rheumatoid arthritis specialist. I am scared because I am only 18. Also, like, back in the summer when I was diagnosed with it, I just thought it was funny; but now, I am scared and thinking more and more about my future. Like, if I barely make it out of bed in the morning because my joints just seize, and have to toss and turn to get out of pain to make myself fall asleep, and can't keep up with the guys in sports, how am I going to wake up early to make my wife breakfast in bed, how will I make love to her into the night, and how will I work all day and still run around with my kids all night? I am just scared of growing old too fast. Even now, my fingers hurt a bit and my legs and back are in a lot of pain. It is stupid.